Thinking with your heart is the way to go. Our mind is burdened with beliefs and habits that interfere with answers that are aligned with who we are. Our heart is more deeply connected to our soul. When you allow yourself to think with your heart and use the mind as the creative tool that it is meant to be, then you align yourself more fully with your soul.

How do we think with our hearts?

• Step consciously out of the situation
• Sit down quietly and take some deep breaths
• Set the intention to quiet our mind and listen to our heart
• Release the constraints for a moment, e.g. ask: “What would be the right fee if I had all the money in the world?”
• Go into your heart and allow the answer to come to you.
• Be patient. Just stay with the question: What fee feels right/aligned in this situation?

Once you have the answer share it with those involved in the situation. Help them to check in with their hearts. Then, when everyone feels an alignment, find a solution together.

It takes some courage to ask others to think with their heart but once you have experienced it for yourself a couple times, you are drawn to this alignment.

Two real-life examples:
I have started to listen to my heart on more and more occasions. I would like to share with you two examples to demonstrate how powerful it is.

As a coach I am occasionally being asked to give presentations for different events without financial compensation. This request comes from the brain. The organizers believe that they, their organizations, and their participants have no money.

When they ask me to spend my time and money, they feel very uncomfortable because in their heart they know this is not aligned with honoring me. Their brain reasons that it is less uncomfortable to deal with one person (me) than with all the participants. And creative as the brain is it feeds the organizers with a lot of arguments. Yet, the heart insists that it this is not aligned.

Example 1: I was asked to give a presentation for a horse association. They expected to draw 100 or more participants and they approached me to give a presentation without financial compensation. My heart said that this was not aligned with my soul.

To align this opportunity more fully, I offered a different viewpoint. If  suggested they ask every participant for $5 per speaker than they would have an appropriate fee for their three presenters and it would only add a total of $15 to the registration fee. If they feel they couldn’t afford that, then they might want to look at the intention of the meeting and distribute their resources accordingly.

My request didn’t point them fully into their heart but it allowed me to stay in alignment with my heart by turning the financial responsibility back to them. The result was that the organizing committee discussed it and they offered me a fee.

Now it was up to me to check with my heart again. I realized that despite the money my heart wasn’t aligned with this opportunity. I didn’t feel the joy and excitement I needed to be an inspiring speaker.  So I turned down the opportunity.  I am grateful for this great opportunity to understand how to think with my heart around money.

Example 2:
The second example was a presentation for a handful of people. Same request, to give a presentation and not be financially compensated for the service. But in this case the organizer and I worked closely together, discussing possibilities by engaging our hearts, supported by a willingness to find a solution. Everyone felt aligned, heard, respected and inspired. The result was that the event was flowing with fun and ease.

When you allow yourself to think with your heart, you will find your life is changing significantly. It becomes brighter and a lot more nourishing. Start asking yourself, what does my heart know about this situation and listen to it.

If you like guidance in thinking with your heart, consider motivational coaching. You can schedule a free 15 min exploratory phone session just by calling me.

Fact ≠ Outcome

I listened to a recording by Veronica Torres about fact unequal outcome and was inspired to write this article. Veronica explains that we have an old habit of tying facts (what is truth right now) to outcome.

My example would be:
Fact: The check engine light in my car is on.
Outcome: It will take time to repair and will probably cost a lot of money.
In this scenario I tied the fact to a possible negative outcome. One of our habits is that the outcomes we envision are generally negative.

If we want to embrace and experience the amazing possibilities 2012 has in store for us we need to let go of the old habit that we focus on outcome, which keeps us in fear of the facts. Here is a way to let go of this unhelpful habit.

1. Determine the facts: Car engine light is on.
2. Gain insights: Having the car inspected will bring some clarity of what is going on: Is a repair needed, is it just a glitch in the system…
3. Be curious about any fear that might surface: For example: The repair will take time, it will cost a lot of money… Be curious about the fear. Who says it will be expensive?
4. Set an intention: Decide what you would like to experience. Set an intention: The car repair will be fast, easy and cheap. I use the intention to pull me out of fear. When I become aware that my brain moves into fear,  I consciously stop, take a breath and then focus on my intention, fast, easy, and cheap. That allows me to let the whole issue go immediately and bring myself back into present time. I can again focus on my next present moment in front of me, knowing that the is a cheap, easy and fast solution to the car issue and it will reveal itself.
5. Let go of any outcome. Be fascinated about the whole process and flow with it moment by moment. You don’t need to know how your challenge can be resolved in an easy way. All you need to do is to acknowledge the possibility and let it come to you.

When we connect a fact with an outcome we hold ourselves in the future and we block any other possibilities to come in. We hold ourselves on a straight line towards one specific, often negative outcome.

When you start dancing in the moment by allowing that there are different answers to perceived problems and let go of outcome, then surprises and miracles can happen.

I wish you a transformational 2012 loaded with miracles.

In December I went to my grocery store and was asked at the register if I wanted to donate money to a certain cause. The friendly cashier told me that most customers would just round up their bills. I felt a little pushed over and could feel the pressure that I should round up my bill. But I stepped back and observed my feelings and decided not to give to this course in this moment.

We often get into situations where we are confronted with worthy causes and feel a certain obligation to donate money.  When Wanda and I discussed the idea to give to (support) causes that spiritually uplift us, donating money suddenly felt right.

In the last years I have seen newsletters from other coaches and spiritual healers that asked for a donation. Two example phrase that got my attention was: “Did you enjoy this post? Now you can thank me with a donation.” and “Your donations are appreciated and help with this work.” It has always intrigued me and it is a great example for spiritual tithing.

I read newsletters and blogs that I thoroughly enjoy that help me to hang on in tough times. Often I don’t feel drawn to sign up for the additional services offered. The option of donation is giving me the opportunity to acknowledge and thank the author for her support.

Another example is sharing materials from others. Wanda and I discussed Carol Tuttle’s work on Dressing Your Truth (www.dressingyourtruth.com). She describes four different types of personal beauty profiles. Wanda and I are different types and I wanted her insights on some questions I had.

We discussed integrity around giving Wanda access to my profile on the internet as she hadn’t paid to view this particular type. We wanted to honor Carol Tuttle’s work and at the same time sharing the information so that we could create better from it.

Spiritual tithing was the answer. Wanda suggested to email Carol and explain what we wanted to do and donate some money to Carol to express how much she appreciates her work.

If this concept resonates with you I encourage you to look at good courses you consider donating to and identify why you want to give your support. Is this course uplifting you spiritually or do you feel you have to give. Remember humanity is diverse and individuals are spiritually uplifted through different situations.

I see spiritual tithing as an opportunity to support something I want to see in this world.

Happy spiritual uplifting to you,

Freya

Wanda’s comments…

• In general there is something about being ‘asked’ to donate that feels ‘off’ to me, almost like I’m contributing to a perception grounded in an energy of lack. (And I also recognize we are in transition around our relationship with money and our ability to truly care for each other’s well-being.)

• When I find myself in a situation where money could make a difference, or is being presented as going to make a difference, I check in with what is going on in my body and energy field. Am I noticing any contractions? uneasiness? anything other than a  ‘This is so cool! I’m in!’. The consciousness with which I give money gets carried along with the money. Giving from ‘clean’ energy is aligning with my own integrity. (This is a profound spiritual practice in itself, given the emotional charge and judgments most of us hold around money.)

• The key for me is to flow in a way that uplifts *me*, delights me as much as the other person, connects *me* with joy, surprise, an unexpected transmission of love. So that energy flows into the ‘collective circulatory system’ of money.

• It’s also important not to have any strings attached to the giving. It’s like sharing a laugh with a stranger then moving on with the day.

• Tithing becomes fun. When we receive money, it comes with a built-in ’surprise/uplift someone’ budget.

When money flows in this way, we begin to easily receive without ‘owing’ anything and naturally create beauty, care, and uplift for all.

The meaning of respect and authority has been taught to us by authority figures such as parents, teachers and ministers when we were young. Many of us learned about their meaning after we did something wrong and all we could hear was: we have to submit to our elders.

The Merriam Webster definition for the verb respect is: “to consider worthy of high regard” or “to refrain from interfering with.” A typical interpretation of refraining from interfering with is that we have to agree with what our elders are saying if we like it or not.

I would like to offer a different view. Respect could mean to be willing to listen and allow other beings to have their opinion and to be who they are without having to take on their opinion or try to “fix” them.

What does respect mean to you? Does your definition feel comfortable? If not you might want to look more closely at what it is you believe about respect that doesn’t ring true.

Authority and respect get often intermingled. Wikipedia offers the following to the origin of the word authority: the word Authority is derived mainly from the Latin word auctoritas, meaning invention, advice, opinion, influence, or command.

We are being offered quite a range of meaning, from advice to command. We tend to connect authority solely with someone in a perceived higher position commanding something and we have to follow. It might be helpful to look through the lens of advice at authority. Advice takes it from the realm of being totally controlled by someone in authority to the realm of listening respectfully and choosing to follow the “advice” if it feels right.

I hope the content of this newsletter encourages you to look at concepts or words that feel uncomfortable and clarify their meaning so that they fully resonate with you. Then they can become the empowering concepts they were meant to be.

I wish you a fun and harmonious holiday season.

Living in the Now sounds so easy and yet seems unattainable. Our minds are like racehorses, if not reined in they are off into the distant past or future.

We are proud of our ability of doing more than one task at a time, encouraging our mind to be super busy at all times. We are speaking on the phone and typing on the computer at the same time, watching TV while eating, or jogging on the treadmill while listening to our MP3 player and thinking about the grocery list.

To accommodate all the demands that we welcome into our life we have squeezed as many mental, physical, and emotional activities into each moment as possible.

To stay present in the Now we need to focus differently and retrain our minds. One way to become more present is to do one task at a time and focus mentally fully on the one thing you are doing.

The great news is that you have plenty of time to practice and lots of opportunities. All you have to do is pick a small task each day and give it your full attention and focus.

For example brushing your teeth. Watch your hand placing the toothpaste on your brush, feel the bristles of the toothbrush on your teeth, be amazed how masterfully your hand is moving the brush to clean each tooth.

Observe your mind. Does it wander away from brushing your teeth, thinking about what to do next? Gently bring it back to the task at hand, observing yourself brushing your teeth.

Simple exercises like this help raise your awareness about your mental activity and train your mind to stay in present time. The more you practice, the more you become aware when your mind starts wandering off into the past or future.

The rewards for your efforts? Being conscious in every moment allows you to see opportunities you otherwise might miss. Living in the Now eliminates a lot of the fears and worries, resulting in powerful choices and a more peaceful life.

Spending more time in the Now takes commitment, patience and compassion for yourself. One step at a time and persistence will bring you there.

If you like to explore tools that help you quiet your mind and become more present, consider motivational coaching. You can schedule a free 15 min exploratory phone session just by calling me.

Not good or bad – It just is
Our tendency is to look at the world in terms of good or bad. Labeling situations or decisions as good or bad adds an emotional energy that can propel us forward or get us stuck.

In the Chinese parable the horse running away is just an event. The event itself is neutral. As the farmer says: “It just is”. This attitude allows him to keep moving forward in his life no matter what the situation.

In contrast the farmer’s neighbors attach feelings (good/bad) to the different life situations. They spike up and down in their emotions. This creates an imbalance that uses precious energy and makes it more difficult to stay in the flow of life.

“Bad” situations or decisions drag us down, create additional feelings of guilt or frustration and often undermine our self-confidence. It takes effort and focus to get back on an even keel and move forward.

We tend to get addicted to “good” situations and outcomes. This addiction creates a desire to race through life from one “good” situation to the next, often overlooking opportunities to grow personally. Every situation presents us with an opportunity to raise our understanding of how life works and raise our overall consciousness.

Keeping an open, non-judgmental mind like the farmer does, you allow yourself to observe the new situation first. Then you can choose and react with flexibility, adjusting to different situations with ease. The attitude of “it just is” doesn’t mean you are floating aimlessly around. It means you focus all of your energy towards forward movement instead of spending it on up and down movement.

Next time you label an event good or bad ask yourself: What can I learn from this situation? How can I grow my consciousness? You don’t have to wait for the big events to come around. We are presented with daily situations we might judge good or bad. They are perfect opportunities to practice your new questions.

If you are interested in growing your consciousness and seeing the world from a different perspective, consider motivational coaching. You can schedule a free 15 min exploratory phone session just by calling me.

It took me a while to realize that in most cases it isn’t about the money but rather an issue of self-worth. How do you determine if you are holding yourself back because you do not value yourself enough? Here are some questions that help you gain clarity:

How high is my desire for this specific service? For example if you are thinking of coaching then ask yourself on a scale zero to ten how much do I want to create change in certain areas in my life? If the desire is high (between eight and ten) but you still hesitate to sign up for coaching then ask the next questions.

If my child needed coaching would I pay for it?
If my partner said he/she would need coaching would I agree to the financial expense? We are often willing to support everyone else but believe we don’t deserve the same support. So we stay stuck and keep giving until there is nothing left of us.

Am I willing to invest in myself? What voices can you hear in your mind when you ask this question? I might fail, I am afraid of change, I don’t deserve? This is where you have a choice: is it more comfortable to stay stuck or are you ready to move forward toward well-being and prosperity. Coaching helps you to release these fears and move forward.

If I would invest in myself what change would that make in my life? How would it feel to get unstuck and move forward? How would this positively impact my family, friends, work…? We often overlook the impact our well-being has on the well-being of others.

Next time you hesitate to engage in a service that is supportive of yourself answer the questions above to help you gain a better perspective. Everyone deserves the best and that includes you.

If you would like to get unstuck and move forward in life consider investing in yourself through coaching. You can schedule a free 15 min exploratory phone session just by calling me.

The most powerful way to support others is to live your own life according to the ideas and solutions you want to offer others.

The topics in my newsletters are chosen to stop you in your track and look at the path you are walking: Are you aware of the latest concept discussed? Is it something you want to incorporate in your life? Are you talking the new concepts or walking them?

For example, asking for help is a concept many of us find challenging to walk, in our daily life. A friend of mine suggested that I ask clients, friends, and family to help me point prospective clients to my services. It stopped me in my tracks and I had to ask myself: Am I walking my talk fully?

To be fully congruent and walk my talk I used this example to demonstrate how I walk my talk:

1. I ask for your help: Referrals are a powerful and vital resource to support my coaching business. I would appreciate if you tell friends, family, acquaintances, co-workers… about my services and point them either to my website (www.EssentialClarity.com) or give them my toll-free phone number (866-699-6499).

2. Being a coach I stretch you a little bit: Maybe it is time for yourself to walk your talk of changing your life and resume or start coaching?

3. Making it easy for you to help: If you are unsure how to explain my services read the referral tips in this newsletter or give me a call. I would love to talk to you.

4. I express my gratitude: I am excited about the support that is coming from you and all of my readers. I am deeply grateful to those of you who already referred friends and family members to me.

5. I do my happy dance because I had the courage to walk my talk.

Do you have a challenge in your life where you don’t fully walk your talk? Consider coaching to identify what is holding you back and walk forward with confidence.

Many times we choose not to listen to our body because we believe:

• We don’t have time
• Tuning in might be uncomfortable
• We are afraid of what we might hear

When we avoid listening to our body’s messages and keep pushing its limits we increase the imbalance our body tries to communicate. The result is that the next message is louder, e.g. greater tightness of our shoulders, greater pain, and even serious disease.

The first step towards optimal balanced health is to fully connect with your body. How does your body feel right now? What physical, emotional, or mental signals do you sense?

Our body has a wide range of physical signals that express health or imbalance: lightness in step, vibrating with energy, tension, pressure, pain… Each sensation and its location in the body points to information about its current health status. We have a choice: we can ignore the message, suppress it with over the counter drugs, or listen to the signals and find a solution.

The energy system of your body holds your emotions. Emotions can be physically felt as anxiety in your gut, fear in your stomach, joy in your heart… We have learned to suppress unwanted heavy emotions such as fear, guilt or shame and yearn for lighter emotions such as happy, joy and freedom.

Key to achieving optimal, balanced health is to acknowledge the emotions that show up in your body and allow each emotion to flow through and out of your body. When you hang on to emotions or suppress them they get stuck and can cause physical imbalance/disease.

Mind chatter (racing thoughts, self-defeating talk, unhelpful beliefs) is another signal our body provides. Are you able to easily quiet your mind so that you can listen to guidance from your inner, knowing voice? Quieting your mind allows your whole body to relax and enter into receiving mode. In this state you can ask questions and receive answers and guidance.

Explore and embrace the wisdom your body has to offer and you are on your way to balanced health.

Are you curious about your body’s wisdom? If you would like to connect deeper with your body and explore practical tools that help clear your path to health and wellbeing then consider motivational coaching. You can schedule a free 15 min exploratory phone session just by calling me (866-699-6499). I love supporting you in living an empowered life.

How can you empower yourself and make a positive impact on the world?

1. Keep your focus on what you want to see in the world: freedom, integrity, fairness, sharing, stewardship of the earth…
2. Look for the positive in all the big and small events rather then focusing on disaster
3. Be creative and start with little steps in your daily life

For example when looking at Japan, do you focus on disaster, nuclear melt down, and radiation or can you see the beauty that has come from it, people coming together to support each other and nuclear energy is no longer on the table as alternative energy. When you hear about the Middle East, do you focus on fear of skyrocketing oil prices or do you focus on how many people have the courage to stand up for freedom?

If the world events seem too overwhelming, focus on your daily life. When you can find beauty in every day and uplift people around you, the ripple you create moves through the whole world. Imagine what place the world would be if every human on earth would focus on freedom, compassion and uplifting each other. Thousands of people have already started along this path. Why not join them in your daily life by holding your focus on what you want for the world?

If you like action and want to take it a step further, look at the resources below and look at the examples of how people focus on the positive and change the world in simple ways right outside their front doors.

If you feel overwhelmed by the events around you or are stuck in fear consider motivational coaching. You can schedule a free 15 min exploratory phone session just by calling me. I love supporting you in living an empowered life.

Resources:
How people focus on the positive and influence the world in their daily life.
Japan: Grace flows and heals
A letter from Sendai describing how people support each other in Japan
Random acts of beautifying
Gardening in ugly corners of cities
Backyard Abundance
Two people started to promote landscapes that purify water, build soil and benefit wildlife. A group formed who gives yard tours, hosts classes and helps design landscapes.
Made with Love
Two moms rallied their community to sew more than 3,000 dresses for girls in Zambia.
Mothers without borders
A mother of five saw a need and stepped into it.